Sorry guys, she is taken

My friend Ria created this little chart for her husband during our clearly very busy work day. I love her. She is one of my best friends in the whole world, but girlfriend knows she is a little on the compulsive side when it comes to cleaning. Her husband, Chris, is more like me in the fact that he is kind of messy. Granted, messy for a girl is still a lot better than messy for a guy. Since they are newly married, apparently Chris has been slacking on the chores lately. Here is the chart Ria created to get the cleaning ball rolling, so to speak.Scary right? Notice how everything is color coded, bolded, and meticulously charted out. Notice how Chris has about a third of the duties as Ria does. "Magazines"? Chris, what is that? You get to pick up magazines when Ria gets fucking vacuuming? And you guys have a dog!

OK while I laughed at this chart for a good half hour, Ria then went on to create a little "presentation". It could be the funniest thing I have ever read. And I now know why some guys are scared to get married. Just kidding, Ri. I must admit that if Chris and I were married, nothing would get done. We would both die under our respective New York Posts, Sports Illustrated, and New York Magazine. Brace yourselves everyone. You're about to enter the Twilight Zone.

Ria, you're crazy. I love you, but you're crazy. And just as an FYI, while the "presentation" was created as a semi-joke, the cleaning chart was made in all seriousness.

So everyone, what's the over-under on which slide Chris asks for a divorce? I'm thinking he doesn't get past the "Agenda" slide.