I'm a chick who enjoys good beer. My preference is the darker the better (just like my men). However, any active beer drinker knows that the heavier the beer, the more the calories. I drink on a night of drunken debauchery an average of 7 or 8 beers. Guinness is my favorite, but I only reserve that for when I decide to drink my dinner. However, I've been known to drink 3 or 4 on a given night. At approximately 200 calories a pop, that's 800 calories right there.
My second favorite beer, Saranac Amber, we'll say is approximately 175 calories based on the caloric value of similar amber beers. Now, given that they aren't as heavy as Guinness is, I can drink more. I remember one night I drank 10. I know I'm a mathlete, but I bet most of you can calculate 10x175=1750 calories. In one night.
My third favorite beer, Leinenkugels Honey Weiss, is sadly (or thankfully) no where to be found anywhere on the East Coast. Still, I would say the caloric value of this beer ranges from 150-165 or so. We're still in the 1500 calorie range for a night of heavy drinking. Lord knows when I head back to the Midwest, I make up for any time I spent away from this delicious brew.
So my point? Bud Light, Amstel Light, Coors Light, while they all may be shitty and taste like water, only have approximately 100 calories per beer. I can go out, get shit faced, go out for a 6 mile run the next day, and still retain my semi girlish figure. I've resigned myself to the fact that my slight beer pouch (not really a gut, but an inch of skin I can grab right below my belly button) will never go away due to my heavy consumption of beer, but I'm okay with that. At least I'm having fun, right?
So next time you see me out, and you make a comment on my crappy water downed beer, give me a break, mmm k? You don't want no fatty slobbering on your knob now do you?
NOTE: Yes, I could drink vodka, which I do at times, but the results are never pretty. Hard alcohol's influence over me deserves its own post.
And yes Peter, my mouth is open again. Sue me.
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