College football in New York

A couple weeks ago, my friend CrimeNotes eloquently described what it is like living in New York as a college football fan. Given that most natives of the Tri-State area went to colleges where one of the requirements is you pop your collar and turn up the douche level upon entering the school as a freshman, it's nice to know my fellow football loving fans are still here. Even if you did go to Notre Dame.

NOTE: I'm sorry, ex-boyfriend, if you are reading this, I did have a lovely time at Amherst College when I visited you (mainly for the Beirut tournaments), but your proclamations of, "THIS IS THE GREATEST SCHOOL EV-ER!" when visiting me in Iowa City lead me to believe your $40,000 you spent a year on your education wasn't nearly worth the $8000 I spent (er, dad) on my out-of-state tuition, Pokey Sticks, a few Organic Chem and Physics books, and Busch Light. I mean, did YOU ever get to bring your backpack to the bar after class on Friday Thursday? Sucker.

Back to CrimeNotes' post. New York is mainly known for being a professional sports town. There are just no colleges around that are contenders in anything regarding the NCAA--with the exception of Rutgers last year when they lit the Empire State Building in "Fair Weather Fan" Scarlet, and the occasional appearance of St. John's University into March Madness.

Those of us non-native New Yorkers (thank God), and went to a football-centric school, usually all go to a designated bar each and every Saturday to watch our respective schools battle it out. Rounds of shots are ordered, fight songs are blared over antiquated stereo systems (dive bars, you know), fist pumping is mandatory, and a good time is imminent.

However, due to a turn of events last year, I am no longer comfortable at the bar NYC Iowa Alumni call home. I basically have to wait til my friend Joey comes in from DC so he can pretend to me my boyfriend (yeah, it's like that) before I ever step foot in that place again.

So every Saturday this year I have found myself a fan without a home. I bounce from bar to bar, begging the bartenders to turn on a shitty game from an even shittier team. It's hard, but I'm a fan. And this is what we do.

This last weekend my gracious roommate invited me to her UGA bar, which [retching] meant I'd be thrown in the mix with SEC fans.

It was bad.
It was like I travelled down to Athens, GA itself. This was my first attempt back into an SEC bar since I almost got beat up during the Florida/LSU game last year. There I was, in my smelly Iowa shirt, surrounded by guys with polos tucked into their sensible khakis and wearing running shoes with every other word out of their mouths being "y'all." I'm just not used to this.

I know every team has their annoying fans, but Jesus Christ people. This one chick was drinking white wine, screaming belligerently at the television. I think the majority of girls had cute little "G"'s painted on their cheeks wearing their newest Tory Burch flats. I don't think anyone was even watching the game (I don't care if you are losing!) A couple of times a player fell on the line of scrimmage, and the place erupted in such thunderous applause you would have thought someone intercepted a ball and ran it in for a touchdown. And what's with the woofing? Are you supposed to be bulldogs?

Oh did I mention there were about 80 tv's in the place, and not one was playing another game? People, don't you want to know how other teams are doing throughout the day? At least the ones in your conference?

Sorry, roommate. I just don't understand. But I guess even Bulldog football is better than no football. I do love this town.