Surprise!

Back when I was in college, I lived in a house with 6 other girls off campus. Frequently we found ourselves walking home drunk from the bars as we were too cheap to get a cab. We never walked home alone, but the walk was far so we frequently found ourselves peeing in bushes to relieve our bladders from the 12 beers we drank that night. One morning I woke up to two of my roommates discussing the previous night's antics. It was a clearly a night to remember.

My roommate Kate (yes, that one) and my roommate Miranda were taking their walk of shame when Kate found the need to relieve herself. Rather than going in the nearest bush, Kate had the brilliant idea to go use the bathroom in a random house. I suppose she was above squatting in the bushes.

The next morning Kate and Miranda were recounting their tale of breaking and entering to me. When I expressed my astonishment at Kate breaking in to a random house to use the bathroom while they were either asleep or away, she interrupts me to say, "Yeah well Miranda puked in their living room."

That's right folks! Imagine these poor folks awaking to all their toilet paper gone and a pile of puke in their living room the next morning. I only hope that someone there was black out drunk and woke up thinking that the puke was theirs and cleaned it up.

Wait, on second thought, that's still gross.

THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.