For those of you living under a rock, there is a new Indiana Jones movie coming out. I'm not really sure what it's about as Shia LaBeyowolf has sworn that Lucas and Spielberg threatened to cut off his balls if any of the plot was revealed. I don't get what the big deal is anyways. We'll all still pay the money ($11 here in Manhattan) to go see it regardless of what the plot is. What I can tell you is it looks like Queen Elizabeth is a Commy and Harrison Ford is old. I'm not sure what Shia's roll in all this, but he looks surprisingly less Asian than Short Round, and I don't know how I feel about that.
Hopefully this new movie won't shake things up with this theory I have. It's not really a theory, but I firmly believe that all people like a different Indiana Jones movie. My least favorite was the Temple of Doom, mainly because after the first time I saw it, I fell asleep with my hand clutching my chest, scared my sister was going to somehow rip it from my chest cavity. Oh, and the fact that it was perfectly acceptable for Spielberg to stereotype and entire culture's cuisine into disgusting dishes. I have eaten Indian food many times before, but I never once had to swallow a live snake. Just sayin'.
My favorite, and this is quite controversial, was Last Crusade. I thought the chemistry and banter between Ford and Connery was great, but I thought the storyline was the best out of all three. I usually get puzzled looks when I inform that this is my favorite, but I don't fucking care. What can I say? He had me at Jesus Booby Traps.
I'm curious as to all of your favorites. I've only met one person who likes Temple of Doom, and she's gonna read this and say so, but I'd like to know everyone's thoughts. Discuss.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
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42 comments:
Temple of Doom is totally my favorite! I love the scene where he's about to go to Willie's room for a little adventure lovin' but gets attacked and she gets pissed. Then he shows up and while she's throwing herself at him he's looking for thugs in the curtains... good times Indy, good times.
1. Raiders
2. Last Crusade
3. Cystal Skull*
26. Temple of Doom
*I have not seen this movie yet, so it could be #2 when it's all said & done, but I'll put it at #3 for now.
Temple of Doom is my favorite too - I just can't get enough of that brassy broad Willie! She along with Princess Vespa were totally my childhood role models, which I'm sure says a lot about me today.
I LOVE YOU INDY! Thanks for the subtle shout out. :)
TEMPLE OF BOOM, BABY!
I too am a Temple of Doom fan, and may have recently gotten a date after quoting it to a boy in a bar. you just don't see that happening with raiders or crusade.
I like them all but Raiders is the best. The next 2 both came off as weaker copies of the first. It's like Spielberg found what worked and then beat it into the ground. The Last Crusade (dum Dum DUM... or was it?!?) was really corny to me.
Also, you ever get the feeling that Spielberg has a problem with Germans and Nazis? I don't know. Seems like there's something under the surface there.
Of course, the first is always the best.
Temple of Poon... er, uh, DOOM! (That first one may have been a different kind of movie.) ;)
Seriously, everyone likes Temple of Doom but JHC? I mean, Raiders I can get on board with, but....DOOM? Dude, y'all are fucked up.
And JHC-
You bring up another theory of mine that I will address tomorrow.
Spielberg like hates Nazis!
I know, right?
Also, I was trying to explain to someone how "Schindler's List" was part of the Indiana Jones series and they were all mad.
OPEN YOUR EYEZ PEOPLE!
um...the new one was about Soviets and Temple of Doom was about Sikhs (the turbans!)
Last Crusade all the way.
I have this theory that it's actually one of the best movies ever made. Like, ever. On top of the amazing chemistry between all the characters and the great acting by Connery and Ford, there's a lot of substance to the story there.
In a nutshell, we see tons of backstory to Indiana's development and his relationship with his Dad and even a relatively minor character like Brody. We see the quest for a son's understanding of his father (and vice versa), we have good v. evil, we have knowledge v. faith, we have machines v. nature (literally, horse v. car and horse v. tank).
Also, hot blond Austrian Nazis, tanks, booby traps, an exploding zeppelin, lions, crusaders, and snakes.
THANK YOU.
You're also forgetting really really old knights (ku-nigg-ut)
Hang on, there were Soviets in Schindler's List?
Anyway, am I the only one who felt like Connery wasn't old enough to be Ford's pap? He's like 10 years older than him! [pauses while Meg rushes to imdb] Having him wear glasses doesn't make him old.
Pappy Jones: "Yesh, JOON-YAH. That'sh right! Ahmm jusht going to sit hee-yah and find mah own sholooshun!!!"
[sits in chair, sets off booby trap, Indy grimaces like he has to poo]
Indy: "DAD!!!!!"
[Nazis ensue]
No thank you.
Sorry, it was corny.
Harrison can't help that he looks good for his age.
(you're corny)
James. Motherfucking. Bond.
Not old.
Not ever.
(you wear wetsuits for leisure)
Roger Moore was the best!
Annnnnnnnnnnnd HERE COME THE CRICKETS AND/OR MURDER ATTEMPTS
The prosecution rests.
you mean THE DEFENSE.
Sigh...
Bailiff!?!
He (or she) can't save you!
[closes briefcase, strides out of courtroom, pausing only to wink at juror #5, as Meg's led away, again]
[glances at what juror #5 looks like and notices they have a striking resemblence to Ving Rhames]
Sexist.
You're the one who likes big black dudes with gag balls.
I never gag on the balls! It's the cock that gets me.
Everytime.
[raises white flag]
Why's your flag gotta be white?
Honkeys(sp?)...
sigh.
(That was the funniest comment thread I've ever read!)
Take a bow, JHC.
Temple of Doom is my favorite. Although I love them all. I'll never get the image of Molaram falling off the cliff Wile E. Coyote-style and scraping his bald scalp on the side of the cliff on the way down. That's gotta hurt.
Late to the party, but quick take:
Raiders has the best, most complete story and a convincing atmosphere. Temple of Doom I think is also excellent and only learned in the last year or so that it has so many detractors. Great, weird action sequences, one after another -- from the opening sequence in Shanghai through the final scene on the rope bridge, I think it's one exciting, tense, climactic scene after another, without any holes to the story.
(I also don't think the chilled monkey brains unfairly stereotypes Indians any more than Back to the Future unfairly caricatures all Deloreans as time machines.)
Last Crusade I think is pretty terrible -- I prefer to think of it as Everybody Loves Raymond and His Boring-Assed Grail.
I've seen Crystal Skull, which I think is strong and fun but not as good as the first two. It's got much of Last Crusade's light touch but plays it more effectively. There's a major plot element that seems to be a turn-off to many, but I came across it months ago by accident so was inoculated. The interplay between the characters is rewarding and most of the sequences are highly effective.
crimenotes-
Yes, how dare we sterotype a car! Next we'll be racial profiling vacuum cleaners. It will be anarchy!
I saw Crystal Skull this afternoon. I'm blown away that you didn't hate it. I thought it was one of the worst movies I've seen in a while, and I saw Made of Honor a couple weeks ago. That's saying something.
Also, why weren't the guns they were carrying in the beginning attracted to the giant magnet?
Also, don't the Incans have their own language? They were in Peru. Why are they speaking Mayan? I'm so confused. This whole movie confused the living fuck out of me.
[bows]
My favorite is Last Crusade as well. Bad guys who disinegrate are awesome. And River Phoenix was in it, HELLO!?
Yes, the bad guys disintegrating was awesome... the first time they did it, in Raiders.
Anyway, so M-A-D-E of Honor was bad? I liked it better when it was called 27 Dresses, but not as much as when it was called My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, or The Graduate.
We will not agree and I won't try to dissuade you. I go easy on the realism quotient, and try to keep in mind that all of these movies are riffs on RKO serials and H. Ryder Haggard books. They're never going to be scientifically respectable or reflect a lot of anthropological learning. I guess I fully bought the relationships and the performances and was sufficiently entertained by them that I was in a generous mood. Also, as mentioned, I inadvertently read about the plot sometime last winter, so I went in with modest expectations that were exceeded.
I think your opinion will probably be in the majority. My complaint was that the ending felt abrupt. But there were enough basic pleasures and strong sequences that I didn't found it rewarding and highly watchable.
Sorry, just joining this discussion a bit late. I have been running around trying to decide if I want to go see Crystal Skull since I have heard from four people that it sucked. And now I am scared my love for Indy may be tarnished forever if I watch it and hate it too.
But to the discussion at hand, Temple of Doom is my favorite too, followed at a close second by Crusade. I love the first part of Raiders of the Lost Ark when he is after the idol but all the Nazi mumbo jumbo loses me after that.
I am a simple girl, I guess.
I'll be honest, I'm surprised that so many people liked Temple of Doom so much. Suppose that I'll have to watch it again. Worse, though, is how ambivalent I feel about watching Crystal Skull. I like the trilogy so much that I really don't need my childhood dreams and heroes to be crushed. (I'm looking at you Michael Bay and your Optimus Prime with flames.)
Aren't these movies so goofy and antic that they're pretty much impossible to ruin? I guess if it emulated Saw or showed stimulated genitals I'd feel angry, but the combination of implausible supernatural treasure, implausible chases, gruff lovability and banter with the dame is tough to ruin completely. I don't love Last Crusade because Connery overwhelmed everything and the River Phoenix bit felt like a bomb, but it's still enjoyable and always feels exciting on re-viewing. It's kind of the way that the worst episode of Seinfeld or Cheers is still more fun than almost everything else on TV. I can see why Crystal Skull wouldn't knock off socks, but unless Shia Leboeuf really got under your skin (fair enough) or the major plot element that no one's talking about here felt too outlandish (as opposed to the believability of the first three) I still don't see the reason for the hostility and disappointment.
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