A while back, I had a party at my apartment. It was July of 2007. I was throwing a party in honor of my new roommate and my friend Meg, who was celebrating her birthday that month.
Now, back in 2007 I was just befriending a lot of people here in NYC through this blog. There was one in particular that drove me up the wall. Now, there is a chance that she could read this, but given that she seriously fucked over a friend of mine, I don't fucking care (although more than likely she is too busy staring at herself in the mirror trying to convince herself she's worth a damn in this world). ANYWAYS. Her tears of humiliation mean more enjoyment for you.
Now, the rules of a party is you show up no earlier than an hour or so before said party begins. The exception to the rule is if you are pretty close with the party thrower, then you can show up whenever, even BEFORE the posted start time.
So there I am with Meg, her friend, my roommate, and maybe one of my roommates friends. The party started at 8pm, technically, which really meant it started at 9pm. Now you can imagine my surprise when the door buzzed at 7:55pm and in walked said blogger. I was a little put off guard, and given this girl has a penchant for saying really inappropriate things at the WORST times, I was a little bummed. There I was sober trying to have some fun with one of the most awesome girls I have ever met, and now I had to deal with this girl. But, I put on my party face and dealt with it. I'm a survivor, you know? I invited her, so I had to deal.
Eventually the cocktails were flowing and her obnoxious words became a little easier to tolerate. Meg and her friend even let her into a little inside joke they were running all night. I can't remember how it went exactly, but any sentence they spoke somehow involved their "mons pubis" (don't click on the link if you are at work. To summarize, it's the lady mound in a woman's no-no region that hurts when you sit on a bicycle). Like, "My mons pubis likes Jenga." or "My mons pubis really likes this song." I swear, it is 1000 times funnier when Meg was saying it.
So there are Meg and friend going back and forth, and I'm laughing my ass off. All of a sudden, Janie McAnnoystheshitoutofme piped in with something to the effect of "I wanna be friends with my mom's pubis."
No seriously, it was like that. MY MOM'S PUBIS.
(welcome disturbing google searches in 3...2...1...)