National UnFriend Day?

The other day on the internets, I stumbled across this:

National UnFriend Day

I kind of giggled, and thought about who I would un-friend (I'm looking at you, incessant ugly baby picture posters), then went back to eating a pumpkin bar (they're delicious!). You can imagine my chagrin when I noticed that my friends went from 366 to 364. Someone defriended MOI?! (Note: apparently defriend is not a word that Blogger recognizes. It keeps on telling me to change it to befriend. Now I feel sad for myself)

Now everyone can say that they don't keep track of how many friends they have. I'm here to tell you that you are full of shit. Everyone knows how many friends one has. It's a total popularity contest that I am desperately losing. How does anyone know 1200 people? Unless they're friending people that they meet on the street, I don't get how one acquires that many friends. Whatever.

OK so what got me so riled up was that someone had the gall to unfriend me. Cut to me desperately typing in letters trying to remember who I am actually friends with (oh, the irony). Occasionally I find out who it is, but most of the time I give up and start eating a pumpkin bar. But what is it that I do that actually deserves unfriending? Unlike some people, I actually know everyone that I am friends with. So what gives? Are my status updates that offensive? Do you not like knowing the fact that at this very moment I am actually eating cheese? Why don't you care that "I'm sooooo wasted right now?" Who doesn't want to know that?

I need a pumpkin bar.