Comments on I'm Quietly Judging You: It was a run by fruiting!

Kids are stupid. Even mine.

2008-06-25T18:16:00.000-04:00

Kids are stupid. Even mine.

of course nyc kids would throw apples. they were p...

2008-06-24T09:33:00.000-04:00

of course nyc kids would throw apples. they were probably organic too. i miss the days when kids just threw rocks at strangers. they were keepin' it real.

LOVED the story, but for my money, I'd like to thr...

2008-06-22T13:38:00.000-04:00

LOVED the story, but for my money, I'd like to throw the apples back at the parents of these little rug rats... my biggest pet peeve is the mother who says, "not my child... he's a good boy..."

You should have run them over (the bitch too). The...

2008-06-04T13:07:00.000-04:00

You should have run them over (the bitch too). The world would have thanked you for it later.

no yeah, youre definitely right. all assholes. t...

2008-06-03T13:12:00.000-04:00

no yeah, youre definitely right. all assholes. thanks for fighting hard against america's real enemy.

stupid kids. i regularly wish i had a rubberband ...

2008-06-03T01:28:00.000-04:00

stupid kids. i regularly wish i had a rubberband gun to shoot at the annoying neighbor kids.

damnit.

God damn kids. I hate 'em. Except when they get ...

2008-06-02T17:18:00.000-04:00

God damn kids. I hate 'em. Except when they get jobs and pay Social Security taxes yo.

Yes, I commend your usage of Mrs. Doubtfire quotes...

2008-06-01T06:42:00.000-04:00

Yes, I commend your usage of Mrs. Doubtfire quotes to describe the situation. Glad you came out unscathed and yeah, I probably would've set the kids on fire.

Ooh, a Mrs. Doubtfire reference. There aren't eno...

2008-05-31T20:57:00.000-04:00

Ooh, a Mrs. Doubtfire reference. There aren't enough of those in the world.

And yea, kids are idiots. What's even funny about making a person crash on their bike? Bike crashes in real life are horrifying.

Whoa. . . I'd chalk that up to the parents. I mea...

2008-05-31T10:01:00.000-04:00

Whoa. . . I'd chalk that up to the parents. I mean, I know that you can't control teenagers, but seriously. I knew that if I ever got caught doing something like that, I would be in some serious trouble.

I like kids when they're toddlers up until the age of 8. My age of tolerance keeps getting lower and lower every year.

Honestly, who wasn't a dick when they were fifteen...

2008-05-31T03:15:00.000-04:00

Honestly, who wasn't a dick when they were fifteen?

Whoever that was, it's someone I don't want to know.

Apple to the head!

Run by fruiting made me snort! I have heinous neig...

2008-05-31T00:59:00.000-04:00

Run by fruiting made me snort!

I have heinous neighbor brats who skateboard up and down the street (badly!) and will not move when a car comes. I'm really hoping someone flies around the corner one day and hits one of the little fuckers. I loathe them.

Also, not related to anything in this post, but what did you think of the Lost finale? I saw this and thought of you:
www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/sawyer

To the author: I would tell you that you made a mi...

2008-05-30T22:37:00.000-04:00

To the author: I would tell you that you made a mistake in challenging a group of punks. It's dangerous. They're not going to change anyway. However, I once ran down a group of teenagers, grabbed one of their bikes, and took it home with me when I was in a similar situation, so I'll just say I'm glad you weren't hurt.

:Hellafied: Yes! That is exactly what I was pictur...

2008-05-30T22:33:00.000-04:00

:Hellafied: Yes! That is exactly what I was picturing too.

:Crimentoes: This is where we're supposed to agree with her and stuff, not bring up past contradictory behavior.

Good for you! I would have chased after them too, ...

2008-05-30T22:21:00.000-04:00

Good for you! I would have chased after them too, but I probably would have gathered up some rocks first to throw at them while I was riding towards them.

I hate teenagers. I swear I was never as annoying...

2008-05-30T20:21:00.000-04:00

I hate teenagers. I swear I was never as annoying as teenagers are today. And I never thought to try to deliberately hurt someone as sport.

I have had to parent several children in public when their parents refuse to do so. My favorite was chasing down two little pricks in my complex who insisted on repeatedly throwing rocks at cars passing in the street with the club for my car. One of them fell and scrapped up their knee, sobbing incoherently and I just stepped on him to get to the other and then marched them into the street and screaming up and down the road until their parents came out to claim them. Then I while we waited I called the cops and pressed charges for the damage done to my car.

Like I said, I hate teenagers.

I never threw the bok choi. That was thrown long b...

2008-05-30T19:53:00.000-04:00

I never threw the bok choi. That was thrown long before I arrived. Those pedestrians also weren't going 30 mph.

Considering the company you keep, condemning fruit...

2008-05-30T18:28:00.000-04:00

Considering the company you keep, condemning fruit-throwing teens seems like risky business. Apparently, somebody's forgotten an evening spent hurling baby bok choi off an apartment rooftop at unsuspecting pedestrians on a major thoroughfare. Or the dumb bastard who let people shoot him in the balls with high-powered toy missiles. Basically, this entire post is an invitation to get plugged in the head with a watermelon slice. Watch your back, Hoss.

katie-LOCK ALL THE CHILDREN UPJOHN-drooling idiot ...

2008-05-30T16:11:00.000-04:00

katie-
LOCK ALL THE CHILDREN UP

JOHN-
drooling idiot asshole

Awesome. I love the gays.

s-
I kinda wish I broke my leg so I could rip it off and beat them over the head with it.

bucketochicken-
If I wasn't so grossed out by touching other people's food, I probably would have picked the thing up and threw it back.

sam-
Perhaps the kids should have thrown apples at their fucking parents.

Hellafied-
HMMMMMPH!

I wish GTA had an option to throw grenades in your...

2008-05-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

I wish GTA had an option to throw grenades in your apt.

Too bad Grand Theft Auto IV doesn't have a functio...

2008-05-30T16:02:00.000-04:00

Too bad Grand Theft Auto IV doesn't have a function where you can throw apples at cantankerous cyclists, because that's what I'd do all day long.

I'm with Hellafied. Very grumpy, Dorthea Gulch-li...

2008-05-30T16:01:00.000-04:00

I'm with Hellafied. Very grumpy, Dorthea Gulch-like behavior. Chill out and throw some motherfucking fruit.

I just almost spit out my Cherry Coke Zero all ove...

2008-05-30T15:48:00.000-04:00

I just almost spit out my Cherry Coke Zero all over my monitor thinking about you turning around and biking after them.

I see this scene set to the music from Wizard of Oz when the Wicked Witch of the West rides her bike through the sky. Duh duh duh duh duhhhh duh, duh duh duh duh!

I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY!

The reason there are so many fucked up kids is bec...

2008-05-30T15:30:00.000-04:00

The reason there are so many fucked up kids is because they have fucked up parents. Unfortunately parenting skills are not required to be a parent.

When Life gives you apples, make applesauce!Then y...

2008-05-30T15:01:00.000-04:00

When Life gives you apples, make applesauce!

Then you can follow Life home and poison his fucking dog.